"My Boyfriend Is Totally Obsessed with His Ex"
Question:My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year. And I'm having a real problem accepting the fact that he and his ex-girlfriend of three years ago are still in constant contact. They talk on the phone at night, chat online till the wee hours, and even send each other SMS texts.
He has told me they're just friends, but I've caught him sending 'I miss you' message to his ex. I've tried telling him about how I feel, but he treats me like I'm acting crazy. He still stores their pictures in his phone. He says he doesn't have any feelings for his ex. So why would he want to keep them? What should I do?
You're not crazy, that's for sure.
If your boyfriend is spending that much time talking to his ex-girlfriend and sending 'I miss you' messages, that's a sign of obsession, and, yes, if he can't get over his relationship with her, he won't be able to put his whole heart into his new one with you.
Besides, if a guy is serious about you, he will and should pay more attention to your feelings; not think that your reactions over those messages and pictures are crazy. I'm sorry, but that's the simple fact.
This won't be easy, but you've got to make it dead clear to him that you cannot continue to be his girlfriend until he disentangles himself from his ex.
Once you make your position clear, it's likely he'll try to assure you that "they're just friends" and "he doesn't have any feelings for his ex". But stand firm. He's still keeping pictures of her. And until the day he finally lets go of his past relationship, it will put a wedge in yours.