Why Finding Your "Soul Mate" Is So Overrated

And why hopeless romantics are more likely to divorce.
Do you believe in soul mates? That somewhere out there, there is a special someone who's perfect for you -- like how Edward is to Bella, or how Prince Charming is to Cinderella?

The idea sounds romantic. In theory. In practice, however, it doesn't always have a fairytale ending: Believers of soul mates were 150 percent more likely to divorce than people who thought there could be more than one right person for them, according to a University of Virginia study. But why?

"We have been brainwashed into thinking that somewhere there is a mirror image of who we are, who is as much like us as a pea in a pod," says Dr. Joy Browne, psychologist and author of Dating For Dummies. Problem is, those who hold on this overly romanticized view of marriage may think they're with the wrong person when things get rough. So instead of working things out as a couple, they go down the all-or-nothing road, where their partner must be "perfect" or completely unworthy of their time.

Reality check: "Be careful of assuming the two of you are destined to be together," adds Browne. Relationships aren't made in heaven -- they take work and require constant nurturing.







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